THE STORM WITHIN

It's been quite a while since I last posted.

I've been on a deep personal journey with lots of challenges and life changes. A very quiet, intense inner time.

Now I'm back.

This blog post wanted to be written. Needed to be written. I felt absolutely compelled to write it. 'Taken by the scruff of the neck by the universe and plopped in my seat' kind of compelled.

Even though I have already written about this topic in previous posts, the changes are accelerating exponentially.

This is what came through me:


These are intense times. A time of quickening. A time of change.

So much has been happening and will continue to happen around the world - hurricanes, floods, fires and earthquakes. So much in upheaval.

What is happening around the world is happening inside us too. Everything is interconnected and everything is changing - fast.

Powerful and uncomfortable emotions are welling up inside us more and more as we deal with our worst fears. You may ask 'haven't I already faced and resolved many of these issues years ago?' Well, there's more.

You may be experiencing incessant thoughts about your past, feelings of regret, a deep sadness and a sense of loss as well as gripping fears about the future; for yourself and the planet. You may also feel stuck and have no idea what you should do next.

What is going on?

completing unfinished business

So many of us are suddenly getting the urge to travel, visit family and friends and reconnect.

So many of us are experiencing a sense of sadness and loss and feel confused.

Why?

Energetically there is a push for us to finish any issues that we haven't resolved yet to tie up loose ends. Our old blocked issues and emotions are now being released. These old thoughts and feelings that we resisted and locked away within us are being automatically purged. Anything that is resonating in a low vibration of fear is clearing out.

We may have unresolved issues with people in our lives and feel compelled to visit them or simply long to be with them at this time. This urge can be very profound.

Lots of powerful, uncomfortable emotions are coming up as well. Lots of old thoughts from the past may be suddenly swirling in our heads. Anything we haven't fully dealt with in our lives is coming up and requires our attention. We are looking for closure and a feeling of peace in our hearts, and are longing to do it now.

Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

we are becoming more self aware

It's been a very emotional roller coaster ride for many of us these last few months. Difficult times but also very exciting.

So many people are finding old issues coming up that they thought they had finished with. So many are suddenly having relationship problems when everything seemed fine before.  Emotions have been running high.

For me I was hit with a sudden wave of powerful emotions that completely threw off my equilibrium. Not only was my mind spinning out and chattering non-stop but my emotional body was all over the place as well. It was all I could do to contain these powerful energies. I felt I had suddenly dropped in vibration. Lots of anger and frustration came up and I had no idea why. OK, I had been triggered, but my reaction seemed to be way over the top.

Normally I am on a very even keel and enjoy a quiet, peaceful mind and calm emotional state. I have been on a huge spiritual journey for many years and had learned to weather storms with ease and grace.

But that did not happen this time. Something was different. Something more was going on.

we are being rewired

It has been a very intense 'inward time' these last couple of weeks which felt very unfamiliar to me.

During this time there was so much I wanted to do, so many blog posts I felt inspired to write and workshops to organize, but some part in me went 'offline' and I could not do anything. Something deep inside me wanted to just be still, integrate and allow everything to flow.

The difficulty was one part of me felt energized and wanted to do things and another part was holding me back. A very confusing time for my mind.

When I intuitively asked for an insight as to what was happening, I received it. I was being guided to rest for a reason and found many others experiencing the same thing.

We are all transforming. With the higher vibrational energies coming in, our bodies are busy being upgraded. Our bodies need major repair work to not only become whole and healed again but go back to our original human design. From 2 stands of DNA to 12 strands. We are going from limited consciousness to fully conscious human beings.

When we install new software in our computers, we aren't able to use it while this is in process. Imagine upgrading a human system and still using it! That is exactly what is happening to us. Somehow we still have to prepare meals, drive, work, look after our children and do our normal day to day things. Quite unbelievable when you think about it.

Hang in there. It will all be worth it. We can't see how it will all work out especially when it seems everything is falling apart around us, but it will. Divine intervention is here and is busy intervening. Each of us came here to assist in some way and we will suddenly 'remember' and know what we have come here to do.

It's messy, painful and intense at the moment (wow, sounds just like giving birth!) but we are transitioning out of a very dark era of humanity and blasting forward to create heaven on earth. Choosing to come here to assist, at this incredibly difficult time, was a very brave decision on our part. What incredible stories, experiences, and wisdom we'll be able to share!

Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

One of the biggest life lessons I ever learned was to become 'comfortable with being uncomfortable'. I realized one day that I had been looking at some things in life completely the wrong way and it had affected me greatly.

We were sitting outside eating our lunch enjoying the fantastic view, when my partner suddenly said to me 'do you realize that you are not comfortable being uncomfortable?'

This stopped me in my tracks. We were discussing how I usually became drained whenever I helped others. His statement, once it sunk in, gave me a huge realization about myself.

All my life I wanted to 'help' people. I seemed to feel their pain. With my partner's observation about me I suddenly realized that their discomfort made me so uncomfortable that I was actually helping me by making them comfortable again!

Wow. This shook me to the core! It made me question my true motivations throughout my life. I had to sit with this for a bit and sort it all out.

The Magic of going into our Feelings

After my last post I was thinking 'finally, now I know how to stay in a great state!' Funny how life never seems to unfold like we think it will.

I woke up two days ago feeling very flat, totally uninspired and with no desire to do anything. Nothing I did seemed to alter how I felt. Not even baking something yummy, which usually works to uplift and inspire me.

This feeling was very familiar to me and I did not like it one bit. There was no reason I could think of why I would feel this way.

I couldn't get out of this state no matter how hard I tried so I just grabbed my computer and started writing. Normally, I have a strong idea of what I want to communicate, feel compelled to write and go from there. This time there was nothing in my mind at all.

I was really surprised what my fingers were typing. The answer was right there in front of me. Funny enough, I had this insight years ago but had totally forgotten it.

This is what I wrote:

When we allow ourselves to go to the depth of how we feel with no resistance, even if it makes us extremely uncomfortable, we end up going through a gateway. By fully allowing this quiet, deep, inward experience to happen we go through the entire feeling. At the other side of this gateway we feel completely different. We are left with a new perspective, wisdom and insight.

As I was writing this my mood suddenly lifted and bliss and excitement returned. I felt really alive again. I don't understand why I had this experience but am very happy that it enabled me to remember this again.

So often we want to pick and choose how we feel at any given moment as if we are choosing what clothes we want to wear. Life just isn't like that!

I had to remember that all feelings are important and potential gateways. They are there to guide and steer us in the direction we are meant to go. Feelings are the language of our soul.

Feeling Excited

Are you feeling the excitement in the air?

For just over a week I have felt a huge excitement building up inside of me. My life has not changed in any way externally but my feelings sense something new is happening. This excitement is very powerful and I feel a huge expansion within myself. Suddenly deep desires are opening up within my heart and soul that have been dormant for a very long time.

I am weaving in and out of this and when I don't feel it I just go deep inside and say 'feel excited' and am instantly centered again and the feeling is back.

I am not the only one experiencing this. So many people around me are feeling it too. Everything we have ever dreamed of suddenly seems possible. It feels as if a whole new world has opened up and we are no longer 'stuck'. We are free. Finally.

I am sensing strongly that we are leaving our old world behind and a new one is beginning. Images come to my mind that we are in the process of moving out of our old house. We are saying goodbye to this old place that has been our home for a very long time. Our new house is being prepared for us and we have brief glimpses of what a glorious place it is! We are in between the two. If we attach too much to the old house and the way we used to live it is very uncomfortable. Lots of dramas and emotions. Our intuition knows what is coming up ahead for all of us and the excitement is building.

New Energies are in the Air

I am feeling a huge energetic wave right now that is taking us on a wild ride.

Can you feel it?

Lots of people are going through tremendous upheaval at the moment. So many people are leaving their bodies, relationships, jobs etc. So many emotions and fears are coming up - more than ever before.

We are all being raised vibrationally to such an extent that anything holding us back is being removed. Old patterns of behavior, insecurities, and fears that we may be holding on to are leaving us.  We do not have to do any processes. It is all happening effortlessly through divine intervention so just allow it to happen. If we cling to our old way of being the journey will be most uncomfortable!

If you or others are experiencing great pain or difficulty at this moment just go inside yourself and  consciously choose to stay in your centre to ride it out. Watch the emotions swirl around you but stay in the 'eye of the storm' to have it pass as quickly and comfortably as possible. Even those who choose to leave their bodies right now will continue on their journey. No one will be left behind in this ascension process.

Everyone has free will as to how they handle this period. Just focus on yourself and allow others to go through their transition in their own way. Love them and keep your heart open to them.  Don't react or go into fear if they are affecting you negatively, but do make strong boundaries. Love them from afar if you need to. This uncomfortable, turbulent time will pass.

This 'phase transition' will happen very quickly.

The world around us is very messy at the moment with so much pain and suffering. It seems to be particularly intense and over the top at this time. The old paradigm is thrashing around and in great upheaval and distress that it is losing its' power. It cannot survive this transition. The energy vibration of  duality is far too low.

Heaven on earth is what our hearts long for and that is what is being manifested!

INTUITION

What is intuition really? How do we know when we are actually receiving it?

These were some of the questions I had after I first became aware of intuition during a life changing experience.

I was getting married. Something, some tiny uncomfortable feeling in my gut, told me that my fiancé wasn't the right one for me. This feeling just came out of the blue and I didn't want it! I tried to make it go away but did not succeed. I was very young and thought the world I lived in was all there was and getting married to your high school sweetheart was what you did (this was the 1970's). Besides, we had already started accumulating furniture and household items for our first place together and were having great fun. The thought of backing out felt overwhelming and my mind seemed confused by this new out-of-the-blue  feeling. Little did I know that deep in my heart and soul I was longing for a completely different life.

I found that out after I got married. Yes, the feeling in my gut grew until it was very strong but I had become really good at ignoring it and allowed myself to became numb instead. At 24 I could have been 80. Life felt over before it even started. When I was growing up feelings were something you swept under the rug, not something you faced. I had no idea how to express a true feeling. We were always taught to 'be nice above all else' and everyone went around pretending this was how they really felt. You just got on with life and went on pretending until the day you died.

Somehow the intuitive feeling I had knew me better than I knew myself. How could it have seen around corners and known what would happen if I married him? Once married I had changed so much in such a short time and felt completely trapped in the little world that we had created. I was extremely unhappy. I did end up leaving him... and the house we bought... and all our furniture... and caused even greater heartbreak than if I had listened to this feeling in the first place.

After this first life changing intuitive experience I decided to quietly study intuition within myself. I wanted to see if this was just a weird experience or if intuition really could tell me what was best for me. I spent many years consciously following my intuition at times and then not following at other times to see what would happen. Every single time I didn't follow it and followed my rational mind instead I would end up feeling I was at a dead end. Each time I followed my intuition I was really surprised at the amazing outcome. It far exceeded my expectations and went way beyond what I could have ever imagined.

For over 20 years I have lived my life by completely following my intuitive feelings. It has been quite a challenge for my rational mind and I have had to have complete faith and trust in myself. It has also taken a great deal of guts for me to blindly leap into the unknown when I was compelled to do so. Somehow I have always landed on my feet and with all these amazing experiences I have grown immeasurably.


DEVELOPING INTUITION

Being Free

Are you feeling the new higher vibrational energies coming in? Do you experience moments of feeling more expansive and free? Every single person on the planet is being affected by these glorious energies whether they are fully aware of them or not. It is so exciting!

I was experiencing these feelings the last few weeks but it was only fleeting. I decided I wanted to go deep within and manifest feeling totally free. So many times in the past I have felt 'stuck' and a feeling of waiting for something. It felt like something was going to happen outside of me. It's a 'waiting for a bus' kind of feeling that I had been experiencing for quite some time. Not comfortable or empowering at all.

Ok, I said to myself, enough of this, I will manifest total freedom and expansion in myself by myself. I had fleeting feelings of this in my life and wanted them permanently. We can all manifest anything at all - not just material things. All we have to do is 'ask' or 'intend' something we really want with our heart and soul and let it go. (See the post about how to manifest here)

Once I had let go of asking for this personal transformation, I went about doing what I normally do in my daily life. Soon after I started to get insight instructions pouring into my head; an entire process downloaded into me on how to set myself free.

Process for setting yourself free:

changing our bad habits effortlessly

Almost everyone does things that are not in their highest and best interest. What do we do when we want to change them in the most effortless way?

This is the question I asked myself when I decided that I wanted to manifest 'perfect health for me'. Now I know this sounds like a tall order but I just thought, why not?

I love manifesting! It's like being a kid in a candy store. Anything you want you can ask for. Remember, you never know when or how it will happen, but it will. (Read the 5 basic steps to manifesting here).

Once I had let go of my manifestation for perfect health, I just went on doing what I normally do, eating what I usually eat and exercising sporadically. I did not resist doing anything I felt wasn't in my best interest. If I resisted anything I was setting up a battle of wills between my mind and my physical or emotional body and that was not going to get me very far. It is one way to change - by using willpower - but certainly not effortless and can also eventually backfire on you.

We all have many bodies; mental, physical, emotional, spiritual etc. and each seem to have a mind of their own. I knew that to manifest effortlessly all my bodies would have to be on the same page and in alignment. By using manifesting I was also bypassing my mind completely and going right to the divine/my higher self to guide my whole being.

This is what has happened to me with my latest manifestation so far:

Do you accept yourself exactly as you are?

Mmmm.... this post has been most difficult for me to write. The question 'do you accept yourself exactly as you are?' popped into my head more than two weeks ago and I have really been struggling with it ever since. I asked for intuitive clarity and 'let go' to receive the insights. The thing is, I assumed I needed to be able to answer 'yes' to this question before I posted. Silly me.

This is a very big question. To answer 'yes' means we are completely non-judgemental, totally forgiving and loving ourselves exactly as we are with all our bad habits and imperfections.

How can we love another unconditionally unless we do so with ourselves first? It is so much harder to forgive ourselves than another!

So..... how do we go about doing this?

What part of us is the one that is unforgiving? Is it our heart or mind?

Our heart, once open, is only about love and can only pour love into us. It is with our minds that we criticize ourselves. My mind constantly tells me to get up earlier, exercise more, create more, blah, blah, blah. You get what I mean. It is difficult to feel inspired when you always have a judge sitting in your head!

Our minds have been programmed to the hilt by family, friends, church, state and advertising! There is an endless loop of expectations that have come from outside of us running non-stop in our heads.

So how do we stop criticizing ourselves?

We manifest it!

This bypasses our minds completely. We know that we cannot solve a problem at the level of the problem so just go directly to the divine with our heartfelt request. Our hearts are completely linked to the divine and whatever we ask we will receive! We never know how or when this will happen but it will. The stronger our desire the more powerful the manifestation.

See my post on manifesting to set your transformation in motion!

Manifesting - 5 Basic Steps

Manifesting. Creating what you desire in your life. How do we do this?

We all have the ability to manifest our heart's desires. It is not difficult. We are the only ones that stand in the way of making it happen.

Many years ago I realized that our thoughts created our reality. I had never heard of this concept before but by observing a close friend of mine, I noticed he always ended up creating what he most feared in life. This had been happening to him for years and he felt very much like a victim. In my own life I had the opposite. I always seemed to manifest what I really wanted and had a habit of looking at life in a much more positive way. I found this all very interesting and started to become more aware of how it all worked.

By consciously practicing asking for what I really wanted, without the fear of it not happening, I discovered that our thoughts and feelings, really do create the life we desire.

One day, when I was preparing for a workshop I was giving on manifesting, I intuitively received the words 'there are five basic steps to manifesting'. On the morning of the workshop I suddenly woke up with these words in my head and immediately wrote them down. When I compared them to what I had written previously in my preparation notes, I noticed that everything was there but completely summarized by just these five basic steps:

Facing Fear

How do we face our fears?

Our automatic reaction for survival in a fearful situation is either 'fight' or 'flight'.

When we are in 'fight' mode we want to attack someone out of fear. This just escalates the fear, damages the relationship further and does nothing to resolve the situation.

When we are in 'flight' mode we want to run away from fear. We may even try to pretend it doesn't exist or ignore it hoping it will magically go away. The fear we feel is still there and stays in our body causing problems for us on all levels; mental, physical and emotional.

Fear is a normal emotional response to something frightening that has happened to us. It is a contractive experience that shuts us down and closes our heart. You cannot feel love and fear at the same time. Fear is the opposite of love, not hate, which is another form of fear.

Is there a more holistic way to deal with fear?

Yes. There is another way that will neutralize the fear and have it disappear right in front of our eyes. The first time I faced one of my fears it was an incredible experience. I decided to confront my father with something I knew he did not want to hear. Even though I loved him very much I was always afraid of his anger.

Dreams

Lately I am finding that my dreams are very powerful, bizarre and feel very real. I often still feel the effects of these dreams during the day which makes it very uncomfortable. So many changes are happening to us right now and this is all part of the new divine energies coming in to clean and purge the old, stuck issues.

Past moments of emotions frozen in time are finally being released. At the time we didn't know how to deal with our trauma but the new higher energies pouring in are allowing them to be healed. The vibrations of these stuck issues are too low and cannot ascend with us to this new, higher place of being. It is happening very quickly but slow enough for everyone to be able to handle it, barely. Everyone in the world is going through these energy changes. The grand shift of the ages is upon us!

My moods and emotions during the day also seems to swing from being very happy and creative and feeling more 'me' than ever to feeling frustrated and low. I am suddenly re-experiencing very old feelings from my past that I thought I had resolved long ago. It's eerie having these old states of mind. It's like time traveling to other times in my life then having it overlay this time period as well.

Survival Mode

Many of our issues are coming up right now. Right in our faces. Our negative traits, inadequacies and insecurities are bubbling up. These traits are not who we really are but the by-product of having gone away from Source. Source/the Divine/God/etc. is ever expansive, total love and pure joy and we have been on a long journey away from this. We have been in contraction mode experiencing much fear and pain.

We have also been in survival mode for a very long time and have adapted and survived the best we could. Everyone has done that. Even the most evil (live spelled backwards) person on the planet has been incredibly damaged and is in survival mode. They have cut themselves off from the light and love of Source and have completely lost their way. They can't even remember what love and light would feel like anymore, or that it even exists.

We are all a part of the Divine/'All That Is' as a Divine aspect and were 'made in God's own image'. What an amazing gift! We have been on a long, long journey exploring and experiencing with total free will and allowed to go wherever we wanted, even away from love and light. It has made us incredibly rich with experiences but not very happy!

Everyone is scarred and damaged in some way. We are finding our way back to who we really are. We are not our issues or insecurities. They must fall away. Who we really are is love and light and pure expansiveness. This is what is happening to us right now - we have gone as far as possible away from Source and we've had enough. We want to go home. Everything that is not love and light is being dismantled and changed as we head back to our higher state of being.

Staying centered in this turbulent time

Wow, things are really heating up in the world at the moment. The Pope has resigned! This is the first time in 600 years a Pope has done that. All around me (and in my life too) there are lots things coming to a head. Things that seemed to be working before are suddenly falling apart.

So many personal difficulties for people at the moment. New higher energies are pulsing to the earth from the galactic centre right now. Anything that doesn't resonate with the higher divine vibration gets purged! So uncomfortable for so many who are accustomed to their routine and have difficulty with change.

I am intuiting very deeply to just stay really centered and as relaxed as you can. This turbulence and purging will pass. If you try to rescue someone or get entangled in the whirlwind energies it will be very messy and the transformation will take longer. This is divine intervention at play. We all prayed for a better world and it is happening. All lower vibrations are leaving and we are visibly seeing these in the changes happening in the world. Old political structures are crumbling and will continue to do so. Anything that was not on a solid foundation of truth and love will fall away. So... hang on to your hat! It is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

When people are upset it is really with themselves

I feel very grumpy today for some reason. There isn't anything specific that I can think of why I would feel this way and am not resisting it (as best I can). I know that what you 'resist persists' so I am allowing it to just be and know that the feeling will pass. Unfortunately it isn't pleasant for my family when I grump at them too!

When anyone is upset they are really only upset with themselves and sometimes project it to everyone around them (perhaps even blame them too). Never take it personally! It is their internal issues and the angst is within themselves.

I am constantly practicing staying neutral and in observation mode when people are upset around me. This can be very difficult when your emotional body automatically reacts and tries to defend itself. It takes time to cultivate the habit of not engaging in the emotional drama around you. This is not easy to do and requires a great deal of emotional maturity which can be cultivated at any age.

The last couple of days I had been feeling so energetic and 'up' that it is difficult feeling low again. I have many creative projects on the go and today feel I'm 'on hold' again. Apparently we are entering into another huge energy shift in the next couple of days and I definitely have that 'offline' feeling. I can tell because all I want to do is sit on the couch and put my nose in a book.

When I feel like this I am not able to do much and know better than to force myself. It is important to  feel inspired and enthused when creating anything in order to transmit these wonderful feelings into the project. When I am baking or cooking (which I love to do) I infuse the food with my love and enthusiasm and it makes a huge difference in the taste! You can give someone your recipe and they can do the exact same thing as you do but it will taste completely different. This difference is your love and essence you put into it.

Ease and Grace

Have you noticed how fast things are manifesting in our lives now? Any issues we thought we were done with, but perhaps needed a bit of tweaking, are suddenly full in our faces. So many people around me (especially ones who have been particularly stuck and didn't want to change) are finding their lives full of intense drama at the moment.

How we feel also seems to be on a huge roller coaster. One day we feel on top of the world and super charged up and the next day very low and out of sorts. This seems to be the norm right now for most people with all the new higher energies coming in. We are housecleaning.  There is nothing to process, just observe the pendulum swing of emotions as the old stuff leaves. These contractive, negative feelings are stuck issues and old patterns that are on a low vibrational level and cannot go into the higher vibrations. We are ascending with all our bodies: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual etc. This is such a huge, exciting transformation!

I do find it very challenging to stay centered in these turbulent energies but am practicing just 'going with the flow'. Just by my intention to remain peaceful, take it slow and not trying to understand it all helps. Our minds are always the last to know what is really going on but clarity does eventually come. The words I intuitively received in January were 'ease and grace' and that's what I am consciously practicing.

A New Year - 2013

Isn't it interesting how things don't often turn out how you think they will? Ah, the mind, how it loves to project into the future and organize the unfolding. Yes, 2012 seemed to be a year of change, but the change appears to have been more on a personal level rather than mainstream news level. But... the world is made up of over 7 billion personal levels!

This is one powerful planet now with people coming together creating a BIG change. They are fed up with the way things have been and want peace, prosperity, and community. Through this massive desire this has now been set in motion, however slowly it may appear to manifest at the moment. In order to create or manifest, we first have a strong desire (unseen) before it comes to fruition in the physical reality (seen). How and when it appears is left to the divine and the wondrous synchronistic unfolding.

No sooner had I felt guided to create a blog in January 2012 to start journaling my many 'incoming' intuitive thoughts or 'thought mail' as I like to call it, when everything became extremely quiet for me. It felt like I went into some kind of a cocoon space and had a deep in-breath, waiting, waiting for something to happen. The feeling was more of being 'off-line' and going deeply inward. I felt like I was in suspended animation much of the time hanging in there for the home stretch to December 21, 2012. Well, we have made it and it was a huge gateway to a higher vibrational level! The outward manifestation of the transformation is unfolding and much of it still unseen.

2013 feels very different for me so far. My intuition is telling me I am coming into my full power now and I feel much more me -  more alive and really present in my body. Such a delicious feeling. I have definitely been plugged back in again and am 'online' but the operating system seems different somehow. 

In 2012 I was constantly intuiting to stay centered, hold my space and 'just wait'. So far in 2013 my whole being is saying 'don't wait, do it now'! It is time for a great out-breath. I feel such a strong sense to do my part in my own way to co-create a wonderful new planet.